Quotes by Barney Stinson (Page 10)
Quotes 181-196 of 196
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Quotes by Barney Stinson



Barney Stinson is one of the five main characters from the tv-series How I Met Your Mother and well-known for his legendary quotes. Barney Stinson is acted by Neil Patrick Harris, who was awarded several prizes for the role.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 12 (Series quote)

Lily: 'I'm pregnant.'
Barney: 'I've never seen that woman before in my life! Sorry - force of habit, congratulations!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 12 (Series quote)

I am Mr. Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over thirty's. I am the Bill and Melinda Gates of the sympathy bang.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 15 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'You're really telling me, that when you watch 'The Karate Kid', you don't root for Daniel-san?'
Barney: 'Nope.'
Ted: 'Who do you root for in 'Die Hard'?'
Barney: 'Hans Gruber. Charming international bandit. At the end, he died hard. He's the title character.'
Lily: 'Okay, 'The Breakfast Club'?'
Barney: 'The teacher running detention. He's the only guy in the whole movie wearing a suit.'
Robin: 'I got one. 'Terminator'.'
Barney: 'What's the name of the movie, Robin? Who among us didn't shed a tear when his little red eye went out at the end, and he didn't get to kill these people?'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother (Series quote)

Never buy a girl flowers, 'cause giving her a living thing reminds her of babies.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 7 (Series quote)

God. It's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me. Awesome!
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 14 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Check it out, I made a little game.'
Lottery Girl: 'And tonight's lotto numbers are: 19...'
Barney: '...age you moved to New York after a photographer 'discovered' you at a food court and said he would get you into Vogue Magazine.'
Lotto Girl: '53...'
Barney: '...number of semi-nude pictures he took of you before you realized he had no connection to Vogue Magazine.'
Lotto Girl: '22...'
Barney: '...age you claim you are.'
Lotto Girl: '31...'
Barney: '...age you actually are.'
Lotto Girl: '45...'
Barney: '...number of minutes it would take me to get you into a cab, out of your dress and into my Jacuzzi.'
Lotto Girl: 'And tonight's Super Big Ball is...'
Barney: '...what happens after we get out of the Jacuzzi. What Up?!'
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 9 (Series quote)

He has got to go. You need to be like:
You are the weakest link goodbye!
Punchy, the tribe has spoken.
Please pack up your knives and go.
Your work of art, didn't work for me.
You're times up.
I have to ask you to leave the mansion.
You must leave the chateau.
Your tour ends here.
You've been chopped!
You've been evicted from the Big Brother house.
Your desert just didn't measure up.
Sashay away!
Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen!
You did not get a rose.
You have been eliminated from the race.
You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model.
You're fired.
Auf Wiedersehen.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 23 (Series quote)

Give it a week, you'll get her back. And her front.
Oh! Did you feel that? I think we just had a 'what up?'-quake!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 19 (Series quote)

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Barney: 'I only smoke in certain situations. Postcoital, when I'm with Germans, sometimes those two overlap, coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, precoital, on a sailboat, the day the Mets are mathematically eliminated every year and pregnancy scares.'
Ted: 'Why are you smoking right now?'
Barney: 'I'm always precoital, Ted.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Ted: 'She was 15?!'
Barney: 'No. A 15. Like in blackjack.'
Ted: 'As in.. not sure whether you'd hit it?'
Barney: 'Exactly!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 14 (Series quote)

Ted, the only reason to wait a month for sex is if the girl is 17 years and 11 months old.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Female acrobats from Montreal, super flexible...
We´re gonna get Cirque du so-laid!
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Think of me as Yoda - only, instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro. I'm Broda.
3

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother (Series quote)

It's going to be legen...
wait for it - and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is
...da(i)ry!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1 (Series quote)

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.
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Quotes 181-196 of 196
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