Quotes by Barney Stinson (Page 4)
Quotes 61-80 of 196
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Quotes by Barney Stinson



Barney Stinson is one of the five main characters from the tv-series How I Met Your Mother and well-known for his legendary quotes. Barney Stinson is acted by Neil Patrick Harris, who was awarded several prizes for the role.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother (Series quote)

Ted, every little boy wants to grow up to nail the doctor, or the lawyer. Somebody's gotta nail the receptionist.
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 20 (Series quote)

For the first time in my life, I don't want to find myself in three years with some random girl. No matter how many boobs she has.
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Back boobs! The visual stimulation of missionary meets the emotional detachment of doggy style... patent pending.
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 20 (Series quote)

I'm KFC baby - you don't mess with the Colonel's recipe!
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1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Fine I'll fill her in and I am so angry I am not even goin' to make a joke about 'filling her in'... which I did three times last night. Self-five!
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 18 (Series quote)

Ted: 'In a city of eight million people, you happened to walk into the club where she works? Maybe it's destiny.'
Barney: 'No, Destiny strips at 'The Melon Patch'. They're people, Ted. Try to keep them straight!'
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16 (Series quote)

Damn it, Ted! I was about to drop some sweet word play about logarithms and getting into a rhythm with my log.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Oh, screw 'The One'!'
Barney: 'What?'
Ted: 'Every date I've been on lately has been brutal. Last week, I went out with a girl whose favorite band was Glee. Plus, it's almost Valentine's Day and I'm alone without anything close to a girlfriend. So... all aboard!'
Barney: 'I have never been more proud of you.'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16 (Series quote)

It's 'The Little Engine with Wood', 'The Whore-ient Express', 'The Long Island Tail Road'!
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 14 (Series quote)

Yes! Tonight is gonna be Legen... wait, are we sure it's a good idea to go to a strip club? Shut up, Lily! I'm in charge now... Dary!
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 14 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Barney! I'm allowed to miss them, okay? They're my two best friends.'
Barney: 'I'm your two best friends!'
4

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 12 (Series quote)

So you're pregnant? Huh, looks like nobody told your boobs.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 10 (Series quote)

Robin: 'I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?'
Barney: 'I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.'
3

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Think of the pickup plays we can run as a father-son duo. There's the 'Father Knows Breast', there's the 'Bush Dynasty', the 'Lick Father, Lick Son'.
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 9 (Series quote)

You could help a friend, but instead you're choosing the hot girl in the tight tank-top. Your training is complete, I'm so proud of this kid!
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 8 (Series quote)

Ted: 'First it was too much eye-contact, then not enough - where do you look during sex?'
Barney: 'Into the hidden camera at future me, watching it.'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 7 (Series quote)

Hey kid, you know how your mom won't let you have icecream 'til after dinner, but then the waiting kind of makes it taste better? Well, I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream - and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 7 (Series quote)

We just don't wanna rush anything, okay? We decided to wait, until she decides to let me have sex with her.
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 18 (Series quote)

Doctor: 'Don't worry, it's totally safe. Unless part of your big date involves connecting yourself to a car battery.'
Barney: 'Well, now it doesn't.'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 15 (Series quote)

He let me have her. I have to say, it was pretty noble of him. He fell on his sword so that she could fall on mine.
Quotes 61-80 of 196
1|2|3| 4 |5|6| .. | 10

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