Quotes by Barney Stinson (Page 6)
Quotes 101-120 of 196
1| .. | 4|5| 6 |7|8| .. | 10

Quotes by Barney Stinson



Barney Stinson is one of the five main characters from the tv-series How I Met Your Mother and well-known for his legendary quotes. Barney Stinson is acted by Neil Patrick Harris, who was awarded several prizes for the role.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 1 (Series quote)

How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend?
1. Never get them wet. In other words, don't let her take a shower at your place.
2. Keep them away from sunlight - i. e. don't ever see them during the day.
3. Never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 23 (Series quote)

When will you guys realize, that the only difference between my real life and a porno
is, my real life has better lighting?
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 20 (Series quote)

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 10 (Series quote)

There's only three things you'll ever see me fight:
The stubborn clasp of a bra.
Sexual harassment charges - nine for nine!
And the urge to vomit when, I see someone wearing brown shoes with a black suit.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 9 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.'
Lily: 'Half the length of the relationship.'
Marshall: 'One week for every month you were together.'
Robin: 'Exactly 10,000 drinks, however long that takes.'
Barney: 'You can't measure something like this in time. There's a series of steps: From her bed to the front door. Bam! Out of there.... next!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 21 (Series quote)

Seriously. Jesus started the whole 'wait three days'-thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all, 'Hey Jesus, what up?' and Jesus would probably be like, 'What up? I died yesterday!' and then they'd be all, 'Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude...' and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and then the dude would be like 'Uh okay, whatever you say, bro.'
And he's not gonna come back on a saturday. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' their beards. No, he waits the exact right number of days: three! Plus it's sunday, so everyone's in church already, they're all in there 'Oh no, Jesus is dead', then bam! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high-five. Three days. We wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story!
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 7 (Series quote)

You have just become victims of the cheerleader-effect. Glad you asked: The cheerleader-effect is when a group of women seems hot, but only as a group. Just like with cheerleaders. They seem hot, but take each one of them individually? Sled dogs!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 3 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'Let the dinnertainment begin!'
Barney: 'That reminds me there's this other restaurant we should try sometime. What they do is, they cook you a meal, in a little room called a 'kitchen'.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Every year, there are a million
new, hot 22-year-olds walking into bars
and call me 'glass-half-full'... but I think they're getting dumber.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Ted, no! You never break up a girl fight! Never!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 3 (Series quote)

My arm hasn't been this sore, since I was 13 years old and figured out how to lock a bathroom.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 2 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'The tiniest little burger joint you ever saw. Tucked between a taxidermist and a XXX bookstore.'
Barney: 'Name two places where things get stuffed.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 17 (Series quote)

So Robin? Guess who nailed the chick from 'Metro News One' last night!
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 16 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Tell me more. Tell me more. Like did he have a car?'
Marshall: 'So is he the guy who... how shall I say this like a gentleman? Robin, did he take your maple leaf?'
Barney: 'Sounds to me like he gave you your first 'O Canada' face!'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 8 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'Jelly beans, fluffernutter, Gummi Bears, ginger snap... this is a grocery list!'
Robin: 'For who? A witch building a house in the forest?'
Marshall: 'Sugar helps me study.'
Barney: 'This is like the shopping a ten-year-old does when his parents leave him alone for the weekend.'
Lily: 'What parent leaves a ten-year-old alone for the weekend?'
Barney: 'And your mom was perfect.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 7 (Series quote)

Barney: 'I met a girl last night. So perky and full of life and not at all fake.'
Ted: 'You're talking about her boobs, right?'
Barney: 'Si. And that wasn't Spanish, that was cup size. What up?!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live. Barney... we met at the urinal.
Lesson 1: Loose the goatee it doesn't go with your suit!'
Ted: 'I'm not wearing a suit.'
Barney: 'Lesson 2: Get a suit, suits are cool. Exhibit A.
Lesson 3: 'Don't even think about getting married until your 30.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Where some choose to look at this bra half-empty, I choose to look at this bra half-full.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Do not tell me you're gonna start searching for 'the one' again. The only time I wanna hear you saying 'the one', is if it's followed by the word 'hundred'.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 21 (Series quote)

You wanna know what line doesn't work on a harp player? 'Hey baby, wanna pluck?'
Quotes 101-120 of 196
1| .. | 4|5| 6 |7|8| .. | 10

www.mueller-digitalmedien.de
© 2010-2016 myZitate.de | Auf myZitate werben | myZitate unterstützen? | Rechteinhaber? | Impressum
Noch nicht dabei? Werde Teil von myZitate und lass dich inspirieren!
Jetzt Fan werden!
Du wirst eingeloggt...