Quotes by Barney Stinson (Page 7)
Quotes 121-140 of 196
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Quotes by Barney Stinson



Barney Stinson is one of the five main characters from the tv-series How I Met Your Mother and well-known for his legendary quotes. Barney Stinson is acted by Neil Patrick Harris, who was awarded several prizes for the role.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 2 (Series quote)

I guess, if we're splitting hairs, then technically... there was a plurality to the times I've lied to women for sex-having-purposes.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Get ready, Cleveland. The last man to screw you that hard and then disappear, was LeBron James!
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 18 (Series quote)

Ted, your throwing your life away. This girl is blinding you with her shiny hair and her boob-shaped boobs!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 5 (Series quote)

I'll help you study. We're gonna stay up all night long. I'm gonna drill you and then we're gonna study. No, seriously. We're gonna do some cramming and then we're gonna study. No, seriously. We're gonna bone up on...

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 15 (Series quote)

Lily: 'We'll all have a wedding dress camp-out. It'll be fun!'
Barney: 'I can't go. I've got this thing.'
Lily: 'What thing?'
Barney: 'A penis!'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 14 (Series quote)

I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it: Buck-naked. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. What up?

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 12 (Series quote)

Freeways have exits, so do relationships. The first exit, my personal favourite, is six hours in: You meet, you talk, you have sex, you exit when she's in the shower.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 12 (Series quote)

Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother (Series quote)

There's kids playing hockey in the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 16 (Series quote)

Dude, ditch Tiffany and join the Barnacle in the Pharma-Girl-Free-For-All. Side effects may include: loss of clothing, rug burns, shortness of breath and soar abdominals the next morning. What in the world is up!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 8 (Series quote)

Lily: 'We're going to Atlantic City to elope - right now!'
Barney: 'Oh, congratulations Lily! Marshall, you're getting married? What the hell?'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 3 (Series quote)

Robin, I'm his best friend, that's a commitment. Girlfriend, that's like a bad flu. Out of your system after a couple of weeks in bed.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Whats your prescription, Dr. Estrogen? Eat Haagen-Dazs and watch 'Love... actually' until your periods sync up?

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Oh hey, where are you guys?'
Barney: 'We're in a fundraiser, helping young women raise money for community college.'
Ted: 'Stripclub... nice!'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Any time, a girl wants to get back at her ex-bodyfriends, we'll be there.
Any time, a girl wants to solve her father-issues through promiscuity and binge drinking we will be there.
Any time a bachelorette party drives through the city in a limo, sticking their heads out the sunroof, shouting 'what's up New York?', we will be what is 'up' New York!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 10 (Series quote)

Know what time it is? It's do-o-clock, lets ride!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 13 (Series quote)

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 22 (Series quote)

'Crutch down and bend over a little bit.'
Barney: 'Wow, It took five shots of tequila to have you in that position.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season Season 2 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Do you have a cold?'
Barney: 'I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out.'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 14 (Series quote)

Talking to a woman that you have already had sex with, is like changing the oil on a rental car!
Quotes 121-140 of 196
1| .. | 5|6| 7 |8|9|10

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