Quotes by Barney Stinson (Page 8)
Quotes 141-160 of 196
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Quotes by Barney Stinson



Barney Stinson is one of the five main characters from the tv-series How I Met Your Mother and well-known for his legendary quotes. Barney Stinson is acted by Neil Patrick Harris, who was awarded several prizes for the role.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Lily: 'Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.'
Barney: 'Yeah. Lily, you know I can't promise that'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Barney: 'This is one of those things you have to do before you turn 30.'
Ted: 'Sleep with a prostitute?!'
Barney: 'No, lose your virginity!... What up?'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Think about it, this is perfect.
a) It'll make Robin insanly jealous
b) You get to have sex with her
c) Maybe by getting to know Mary, you'll come to see that cortisens are people too
and d) B! All night long!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better. Triple-threat: hotter and bigger boobs.'
Ted: 'That's only two?'
Barney: 'Count again!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 13 (Series quote)

Sorry buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh no wait, that was last night!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 12 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Wow, Ted. You're gonna have to find a new member for yourself, cause I'm revoking your dude-membership.'
Ted: 'Yeah, how was that manicure yesterday?'
Barney: 'Invigorating... thanks.'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Very nice, Lily. You know, she is a guest in this country. So while you may choose to turn your back on her, I choose... to turn my front on her. What up!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 17 (Series quote)

It's the greatest samurai, who lets his sword rust in its scabbard.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Ted, you know who's a million times hotter than the hottest girl I've ever slept with? Her okay-looking friend I haven't seen naked. Why? Because new is always better.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 12 (Series quote)

This is my lucky St. Paddys Day suit. I have dry-cleaned many stain out of this baby.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 12 (Series quote)

The World is going to come to an end tonight. Yes think about it. End of the World, Nostradamus, Notre Dame, Fighting Irish, Irish, St. Patrick's Day. This is it Bro. Bro-calypse Now... Bro-Mageddon.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 12 (Series quote)

There's three rules of cheating:
1st: It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married.
2nd: It's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels.
3rd: And it's not cheating if she's from a different area code. You're fine on all three counts.
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 10 (Series quote)

That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani-clad and fully awesome.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 10 (Series quote)

Barney: 'He's the awesomest, most best-lookingest, greatest guy ever!'
Lily: 'He's exactly like Barney.'
Barney: 'That's what I just said.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 10 (Series quote)

Oh man, I am so excited that you're here! It has been forever since I have been around anyone even remotely fun!
[to Lily, Robin, Ted and Marshall] Huh... yes, offense!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 16 (Series quote)

Don't knock long-distance relationships, I really think they can work.
I'm juggling four right now. There's Lisa in Madrid, there's Erica in Tokyo, there's Laura in Denmark. And Kelly on 34th street. The last thinks I'm a humble sheep-shearer from Kelani.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 15 (Series quote)

How to run a marathon: Step one, you start running. There is no step two.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother (Series quote)

There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 18 (Series quote)

Ladys and Gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's top 10 list. The category: Top 10 things i would have called my truck...
Number 10 - 'The Winne-Bango'.
Number 9 - 'The Pick-Up Truck'.
Number 8 - 'The Ford Explore Her'.
Number 7 - 'The You Scream Truck'. You Scream.
Number 6 - 'Feels on Wheels!'. Hello!
Number 5 - 'The Ride Her Truck'.
Number 4 - 'The 18-Squeeler'.
Number 3 - 'The Esca-Laid'. Ih-ih-ih!
Number 2 - 'The Slam-Boney'.
Aaand the number 1 thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back...
'The '69 Chevy'!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Every Halloween I bring a spare costume. In case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression.
Quotes 141-160 of 196
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