Quotes by Barney Stinson (Page 9)
Quotes 161-180 of 196
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Quotes by Barney Stinson



Barney Stinson is one of the five main characters from the tv-series How I Met Your Mother and well-known for his legendary quotes. Barney Stinson is acted by Neil Patrick Harris, who was awarded several prizes for the role.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 3 (Series quote)

Airport bar! Flight attendants, they'll get your tray table in it's full upright position. Say what?

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 17 (Series quote)

I mean she just walked out. At least when I walk out on a girl I have the common courtesy to sleep with her first. It's called manners!
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Woman: 'How can you not remember my name? it rhymes with your name?'
Barney: 'And I said my name was...?'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Here's the thing about me and tools: The only one I know how to use, is attached to me. And I'm not gonna try putting it in a TV... again.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 18 (Series quote)

I am not 'with' Nora. Wrong Preposition! Later tonight I'm hoping to be 'on' Nora, right? Or 'under' Nora. Am I right? Or, we're all adults, so I'll just say it: 'behind' Nora.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 17 (Series quote)

If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 17 (Series quote)

She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don't chase.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 16 (Series quote)

February 13th. A magical night, where a ten has the self esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 3 (Series quote)

I like my testicles attached to my body, rather than rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 6 (Series quote)

There are so many great things to do with the human mouth, why waste it on talking?

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 7 (Series quote)

You know what they say about relationships. Every waking moment's a battle.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 8 (Series quote)

Since I stopped dating Robin, there's this thing I haven't used as much as I would like. It's kind of big. Surprisingly heavy. Kind of leathery. And it's black.
This, my friends, is the playbook!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying: 'Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it's your job to make him awesome.'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother (Series quote)

One of the 24 similarities between women and fish are they're both attracted to shiny objects.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 21 (Series quote)

I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I don't speak 'I-never-get-laid'.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 9 (Series quote)

There is a 83% correlation between times when men are wearing a boutonniere and when they are getting laid... proms, weddings, funerals... thanks for the redhead, grandma! By the way, did you know that 'boutonniere' is french for 'booty is near'?

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 4 (Series quote)

She really had a fat but: her fat butt!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Breast-feeding... hot!
When those things swell up to three times their normal size, so do I.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 11 (Series quote)

You lie to your husband all the time...
'That shirt looks great on you.',
'I love your mom.',
'I never fantasize about Barney when we're doing it.'
Sound familiar, Pinocchio?

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Lily: 'Anytime a single guy hangs out with a married woman there are rules that must be followed: Rule number one...'
Barney: 'Don't use the husband's condoms, that's just rude!'
Quotes 161-180 of 196
1| .. | 4|5|6|7|8| 9 |10

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