Series quotes from Family Guy

Series quotes from Family Guy


Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy in Season 2 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Lois: 'You're drunk again!'
Peter: 'No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.'
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Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy in Season 2 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Lois: 'Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!'
Peter: 'That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!'

Quote by Stewie Griffin from Family Guy in Season 2 Episode 17 (Series quote)

My God, it's finally happened. He's become so massive he's collapsed into himself like a neutron star.
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Quote by Stewie Griffin from Family Guy in Season 2 Episode 7 (Series quote)

You're the worst thing to happen to musical theater since Andrew Lloyd Webber.
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Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy in Season 1 Episode 3 (Series quote)

Chris, this is a big day for you. Today you become the man of the house, because when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.

Quote by Stewie Griffin from Family Guy (Series quote)

Brian: 'Hey Stewie, how do ya not know about trick-or-treating?!'
Stewie: 'How do YOU not know that your reflection on your mirror is not another dog?'

Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy (Series quote)

I've got an idea. An idea so smart that my head would explode, if I even began to know what I'm talking about.

Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy in Season 4 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Lois: 'Why should I get my tubes tied? You should get a vasectomy!'
Peter: 'First, I don't know what that is. And two, no freakin' way.'

Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy in Season 4 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Lois: 'I think I'm pregnant.'
Peter: 'Oh, are you sure it's yours?'

Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy in Season 4 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Lois, men aren't fat. Only fat women are fat.

Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy in Season 4 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Boy, fat sex is the best sex we've ever had! Last night there were so many boobs I didn't know who's boobs I was grabbin'.

Quote by Peter Griffin from Family Guy in Season 4 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Peter: 'I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewie, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...'
Brian: 'Peter those aren't your kids. That's the Nick-At-Night lineup.'
Peter: '...Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...'
Brian: 'That's Street Fighters!'
Peter: '...red, blue, green...'
Brian: 'Those are colors!'

Quote by Meg Griffin from Family Guy (Series quote)

Lois: 'You've never even had a boyfriend more than a few weeks.'
Meg: 'I have two, remember when I dated the Count?'
Count Count: 'One nipple. Two nipples. Three nip- oh, hell no! I'm outta here!'

Quote by Stewie Griffin from Family Guy (Series quote)

If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer; you'd need an egg calendar.

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