Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)
Quotes 1-20 of 444
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Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)



How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 17 (Series quote)

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 17 (Series quote)

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 17 (Series quote)

If you love something, you can never let it go. Not even for a second. Or it's gone forever.
4

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 12 (Series quote)

Canada also helped in two world wars and gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, one quarter of Barney Stinson, instant mashed potatoes and best of all - you.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 12 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Fine, we'll just have a nice, tasteful rehearsal dinner. Maybe at a French restaurant, I know just the place.'
Robin: 'What's the name of the restaurant?'
Barney: 'La Sertag.'
2

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 12 (Series quote)

The 'no more surprises' thing is the best part of being married.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Your challenge is accepted Lil, there is no girl too pretty
For I am Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City.'
Ted: 'You can't anoint yourself the king, just like that jerk, LeBron.'
Barney: 'He left the Cavs three years ago. Bro, give it up, move on.'

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Lily: 'Thank God, it's been a hundred years since Mosby scored a dame.'
Marshall: 'The last time he saw boobies was the screen-test scene in 'Fame'.'
Robin: 'The last girl he dated, I think 'Righty' was her name.'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 9 (Series quote)

Hey, ref, check your voicemail! I think you've missed a few calls!

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 9 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'Open your eyes, ref! That's not a pregnant lady...'
Ted: '...it's a basketball under his shirt. Blow the freakin' whistle!'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 8 (Series quote)

And that, kids, is the kind of stupid thing you say, before you've met the person who hits the reset button on the world. Who makes everything new again. Who makes it seem ridiculous that you ever considered settling.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 8 (Series quote)

When Mom was a groupie in the '70s, her scrambled eggs made her the darling of the MSG loading dock. Lot of songs written about those scrambled eggs:
ZZ Top's 'She's Got Legs'? Originally 'She's Got Eggs'.
Led Zeppelin? 'Scramble On'.
Steve Miller? 'The Yolker'.
If you listen to Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' while eating her eggs, it lines up perfectly.

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 8 (Series quote)

Yes, I'm in a rotten mood. No, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, this has booze in it. No, it's not my first.

Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 7 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'Robin, I need you to delete the last text that Lily got before she sees it.'
Robin: 'Bro, it's my wedding weekend. Just because
you didn't know better than to take a naked selfie while you were in the coldest part of the country...'
Marshall: '...first, I'm an Eriksen. Cold has a plumping effect.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season Season 9 Episode 7 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'What the hell happened?'
Barney: 'I said no questions asked.'
Marshall: 'Star, clover, horseshoe... Barney, did you swallow real versions of all the Lucky Charms items?'
Barney: 'No questions asked! Now come on. Let's hit the bar. I'm buying. I just won 50 bucks from a little Irish guy on a dare.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 7 (Series quote)

Lily: 'I'm not paying for room service the hooker ordered.'
Barney: 'I've been there.'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Your story is so sweet! You didn't even kiss 'til the third date. By our third date, I hit more bases than Bob Hope on a USO tour.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Every hookup at a weekend wedding is decided at Friday Night Drinks. Get stuck with the wrong girl tonight, the only action you'll be getting all weekend is a self five and I don't mean the cool kind. Self-five! That's the cool kind.

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Oh, come on, ref! I haven't seen that much hooking go unpunished since my last trip to Vegas.

Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Barney: 'I was having such a good time greasing 12-year-olds.'
Ted: 'LaserTag.'
Marshall: 'Helpful. Continue.'
Quotes 1-20 of 444
1 |2|3|4|5|6| .. | 23

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