Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 12)
Quotes 221-240 of 444
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Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)



How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Barney: 'You have no reason to be nervous. And I'm going to tell you why in one word.'
Ted: 'And what's that word?'
Barney: 'Dibs!'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5 (Series quote)

So you're the therapist. You know it's one thing to pretend to be a shrink and bang your patients, that's normal. But to do it for real? Little creepy bro.
1

Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Nobody takes an intro class to get on any other path, but the path to not being hungover anymore. I learned that in my intro to something-ology class.

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Trying to get them interested in architecture as a career.'
Barney: 'Why? Are we running out of buildings?'
Robin: 'Are we running out of boring people?'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Robin, if you asked a hundred people: 'Who's the worst person you could possibly date?' They'd all say 'your therapist', except the ones saying 'Barney'.

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5 (Series quote)

I'm growing a child in my belly, a child that just developed ears, and it's a very thin sweater. So, please, if you must tell your story, just make it cheerful.
1

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 24 (Series quote)

Career has been trouncing romance for years. It's like the Globetrotters versus the Generals: Career's sinking hook shots from half court, romance is just a bunch of slow white guys, who couldn't make it in the Italian league.

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 24 (Series quote)

Marshall Eriksen, put a baby in my belly.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 23 (Series quote)

There is only one street where that is normal. Here's a hint: A giant yellow bird lives on it.
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Fine, you guys can have a baby, but only under these conditions:
1) You promise to always love me more than the baby.
2) Once a month, I get to use the baby to pick up chicks.
3) That may involve the baby falling from a two-story window and me heroically catching it.
4) No breast-feeding in front of me.
5) Forget about 4), you can whip 'em out whenever you want.
2

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Robin: 'Have plans with Don on Saturday, he's making me Chinese.'
Lily: 'I'll assume you're talking about food, otherwise, I have some follow-up-questions.'
2

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Clint: 'Ted, your mother is a very, very erotic woman.'
Ted: 'Please don't.'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Sometimes our best decisions are the ones that don't make any sense at all.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Ted: 'I made a bid online, I won the auction the next day and I got approval. I just finalized the paperwork.'
Barney: 'And was the Blair Witch easy to deal with, or did she haggle over the closing costs?'

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Robin: 'Ted, are you acting out the last scene of 'Sleepless in Seattle' with little dolls?'
Ted: 'How long have you been out here?'
Robin: 'Ten seconds.'
Ted: 'Yeah - just the last scene.'
3

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 14 (Series quote)

In commemoration of Barney's induction into the 'Hall of Game', this tie, worn on the seventh night of his perfect week, is hereby retired.
2

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 14 (Series quote)

Ted: 'You always kept your toothbrush in the bedroom. Also weird, by the way.'
Lily: 'No. We kept it in the bathroom.'
Ted: 'No, there was only one toothbrush in the bathroom, and it was mine...'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 13 (Series quote)

Barney: 'I had a drinking game based on Robin. But it was actually ON Robin: I'd pour peach schnapps in her belly button...'
Ted: 'Dude, we agreed we wouldn't do this.'
Barney: 'Sorry. You're right. She didn't like it anyway. Said it woke her up.'
1

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Even if I meet the girl of my dreams right the second, I'm still one night and nine months away, from having a family on my own. And that's assuming the mother of my childern is just a huge slut.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 4 (Series quote)

For some women it was the ashes of my parents. For others it was the trophy from Wimbledon and believe it or not, for one busty dullard, it was both. Game, enormous set and match!
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Quotes 221-240 of 444
1| .. | 10|11| 12 |13|14| .. | 23

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