Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 13)
Quotes 241-260 of 444
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Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)



How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 4 (Series quote)

We've always been a trio! We're right up there with Batman and Robin and Alfred. Romeo and Juliet and the apothecary. Salt and pepper and cumin.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 10 (Series quote)

Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 10 (Series quote)

What's in the box? What's in the box? WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
Right? Brad pitt? Seven?
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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Wherein I suggested that you take your head and store it within yourself, in a fashion that, while space-saving, might limit its exposure to sunshine.
1

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 9 (Series quote)

Ted: 'No, seriously Robin, you should get the slap. I mean, you're a great slapper. In fact, I want to study slapping under your tutelage. I want to be your slap-prentice.'
Robin: 'Don't sell yourself short there, Teddy. You're a slapping rock star. Your name should be Eric Slapton.'
1

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 8 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'Where is your playbook?'
Robin: 'My playbook? Bro, uh, two-volume set, right here.
Ted: 'It's a great read, actually.'
Lily: 'Yeah, I'm reading it right now.'

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 7 (Series quote)

Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'I don't care if the dishes aren't done, okay? If you care, you do it.'
Lily: 'Great, then I don't care if you have an orgasm. If you care, you do it.'
3

Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 6 (Series quote)

I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other, that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but: thanks for your concern, rook!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Not only are you wrong... but you are belligerently sticking to your guns and insulting me in the process. Robin Scherbatsky, you are an American.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 3 (Series quote)

When you date someone, it's like you're taking one long course in who that person is and then, when you break up, all that stuff becomes useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree...

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 3 (Series quote)

I can't believe I'm taking sexual advice from Ted Mosby.
That's like taking fashion advice from... well, Ted Mosby.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 1 (Series quote)

How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend?
1. Never get them wet. In other words, don't let her take a shower at your place.
2. Keep them away from sunlight - i. e. don't ever see them during the day.
3. Never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast.

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 24 (Series quote)

There's something between us. Maybe my head was saying, 'nip it in the bud', because my heart was saying something else...
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 23 (Series quote)

When will you guys realize, that the only difference between my real life and a porno
is, my real life has better lighting?
1

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 21 (Series quote)

It could be for a brother or maybe her sick dad.
[reads] 'And then I want you to do me on the couch.'
Okay, maybe not a sick dad. Or a very sick dad, am I right?

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 20 (Series quote)

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 18 (Series quote)

I've got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. I think you know what I meant.

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 17 (Series quote)

Karen: 'I'm sure all the exploited diamond miners in Sierra Leone would give you a high-five if they still had all their fingers. But really pretty - meet me upstairs!'
Robin: 'They only need one finger to give her what I'm thinking.'

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 16 (Series quote)

Ted, honey, I want you to go outside and bite the curb. I'll be out in a minute.
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Quotes 241-260 of 444
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