Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 5)
Quotes 81-100 of 444
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Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)



How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Basketball, people don't realize, is all geometry, physics and engineering. If you think like an architect, you could win a thousand games without ever touching a ball.'
Barney: 'What happened to your ball?'
Ted: 'Some kids from the Hebrew school next door took it and wouldn't give it back.'

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Eventually, Nick's groin will heal and you'll be back in Sexville, where all the crossword puzzles only have one box to fill.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Our point guard's a 52-year-old virgin, happy as a clam.'
Barney: 'I'm sure he's quite a ball handler.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16 (Series quote)

Ted: 'It's the Drunk Train! You crossed out all the stops and wrote Vagina-Ville.'
Barney: 'That's not true. That one says Boner Gardens.'
1

Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16 (Series quote)

Robin: 'Can you guys keep a secret?'
Lily: 'Yeah.'
Marshall: 'Well, some of us can...'
1

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16 (Series quote)

As fun as this place is, it's late. So, what's our play? And don't say, 'The Siamese Twins', we're not stretching out another one of my jackets!

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5 (Series quote)

It's not what you think, he just wants to have sex. Kidding. Just a little hand stuff. Ha, kidding again. Ted's more of a boob man. I seriously can't stop.

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Barney: 'I love how she was this wise, old, chilled out, lesbian farmer.'
Robin: 'No, no, no. She's not a lesbian, nor does she farm them. No, that woman she lives with, that's just her special friend Maureen. They've lived together for... Oh!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5 (Series quote)

You've been a hell of a wingman. And even though I think it's kind of gross when you pleasure yourself orally, don't ever think that means I'm not impressed.
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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Ted: 'As a kid, I was known as a bit of a detective. In fact, when my friend's retainer went missing, the Mosby Boys were put on the case, and it was...'
Victoria: 'The retainer was in the garbage. The Mosby Boys were you, your sister, and a neighborhood squirrel you thought you had tamed.'
Ted: 'I can't believe Squirrel-lock Holmes turned on us like that, eight weeks of training down the drain.'

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Ted: 'So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner, to judge them and feel superior?'
Lily: 'Oh, grow up, Ted, that's why any couple invites anyone over ever!'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5 (Series quote)

We're cosigning birthday cards, we got toothbrushes at each other's places, foreplay's out the window. I'm in, I'm out, I'm sleeping - it's great.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Why wouldn't she just come right out and say what she wants?'
Marshall: 'Men. It's like, if there weren't pickle jars to open and spiders to kill and computers to back up, what would be their point?'
Lily: 'Mmh-hmm!'
Ted: 'Okay, when did Marshall become a slightly more feminine you?'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5 (Series quote)

I've got a new bro, a bro that puts all other bros to shame. The bitches love him. He buries bones all day. No one chases tail like him. Why aren't you guys laughing? Oh, wait, I probably should have led with this: he's a dog! I've named him Brover.
1

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 14 (Series quote)

Judging from how many clients that hooker has serviced, I'd say we've been here almost an hour.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Cleveland sports are still relevant! 'LeBron who?' Right, guys?'
Barney: 'Ted, neither you, nor Cleveland knows how to get over someone leaving them.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4 (Series quote)

I know this hurts little buddy, but you'll love again someday. Because time will heal a broken heart, but not that bitch's window.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Those Robin's boobies?'
Barney: 'When new nubile hotties lean in to inspect your bundle of joy, you can inspect their bundles of joy. The Broller. God, I come up with a lot of good stuff!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4 (Series quote)

The boobs on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down
The boobs on the bus go up and down, all through the town
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Bro, bro, bro your broat, gently to the bar
Hit on sluts, then do ten shots and...
Quotes 81-100 of 444
1| .. | 3|4| 5 |6|7| .. | 23

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