Quotes by John Oliver

Quotes by John Oliver


Quote by John Oliver from Last Week Tonight in North Dakota (Series quote)

Like Channing Tatum, North Dakota suddenly turned out to be a lot more interesting, once it was covered in oil.
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Quote by John Oliver from Last Week Tonight in Sex Education (Series quote)

Abstinence is a healthy choice, that many teens will make. Either by choice, or, as I can attest, by circumstance.

Quote by John Oliver from Last Week Tonight in Mandatory Minimums (Series quote)

Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they're used correctly, even a short one can do the trick... is a rumor I have heard.

Quote by John Oliver from Last Week Tonight in Home Depot Commercial (Series quote)

Home improvement stores are a lethal combination of everything that can ruin a relationship: Spending money, reconciling tastes, long-term planning and fluorescent lighting.
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Quote by John Oliver from Last Week Tonight in Marketing to Doctors (Series quote)

9 out of the top 10 drug makers spent more on marketing, than they did on research. Drug companies are a bit like highschool boyfriends. They're much more concerned with getting inside you, than being effective once they're in there.
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Quote by John Oliver from Last Week Tonight in World Cup Excitement (Series quote)

The only problem is, Budweiser is one of FIFA's key sponsors. And they sell a product they reflexivly insist on calling 'beer'.

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