Series quotes from Last Week Tonight
Like Channing Tatum, North Dakota suddenly turned out to be a lot more interesting, once it was covered in oil.
Abstinence is a healthy choice, that many teens will make. Either by choice, or, as I can attest, by circumstance.
Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they're used correctly, even a short one can do the trick... is a rumor I have heard.
Home improvement stores are a lethal combination of everything that can ruin a relationship: Spending money, reconciling tastes, long-term planning and fluorescent lighting.
9 out of the top 10 drug makers spent more on marketing, than they did on research. Drug companies are a bit like highschool boyfriends. They're much more concerned with getting inside you, than being effective once they're in there.