Series quotes from Two and a half Men (Page 3)
Quotes 41-48 of 48
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Series quotes from Two and a half Men


Quote by Berta from Two and a half Men in Season 3 Episode 4 (Series quote)

It's a shame, you paying all that money for an ex-wife and an ex-wife's house, and you're not allowed inside either one.
4

Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 2 Episode 3 (Series quote)

Well, I want it on the record that if the kid was running a blackjack game under the bleachers, he didn't necessarily get the idea from me.

Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 1 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Charlie: 'How did you get in my house?'
Alan: 'Okay, Charlie, the key in the fake rock only works if it's among other rocks, not sitting on your welcome mat!'
Charlie: 'Excuse me, but if you put the fake rock in with a bunch of other rocks, it's impossible to find when you're drunk.'
1

Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 6 Episode 3 (Series quote)

Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain-cells.

Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 6 Episode 3 (Series quote)

You know what the problem is? The women, the drinking... you guys look at me and you think it's easy.
2

Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 4 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Ah, cars. Where would we be without cars? And how would we get there?
3

Quote by Berta from Two and a half Men in Season 2 Episode 8 (Series quote)

I guess if they can put a man on the moon, they can put a woman on your brother.

Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 3 Episode 9 (Series quote)

Why are you dating a woman who most likely lost her virginity during World War II? And knowing her, probably not to one of our guys.
2
Quotes 41-48 of 48
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