Quotes by Barney Stinson (Page 3)
Quotes 41-60 of 196
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Quotes by Barney Stinson



Barney Stinson is one of the five main characters from the tv-series How I Met Your Mother and well-known for his legendary quotes. Barney Stinson is acted by Neil Patrick Harris, who was awarded several prizes for the role.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Bro, bro, bro your broat, gently to the bar
Hit on sluts, then do ten shots and...

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Bro McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-bro
And on that farm he had some chicks, E-I-E-I-bro
With a hot chick here and a dumb chick there...

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Ted: 'You know, as your best friend, if called upon, I'd be honored to raise Marvin.'
Robin: 'If you want him to be raised by his underwear on a flagpole, Ted's your guy. If you want him pulling the chord on some other nerd's panties, I'm your guy.'
Barney: 'I'll teach that kid how to be awesome in ways you and Lily never could. It's going to be legend- wait for it... no, I won't wait for it and neither should little baby Marvin, so maybe it's better if you two just die right now... -dary!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 3 (Series quote)

The big bro in the sky had answered my prayers. Allmighty five!
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 12 (Series quote)

It's probably his... I've spent years, training my boys to swim the other way.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 12 (Series quote)

Robin: 'I'm pregnant.'
Barney: 'Are you sure you're not just getting fat?'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 2 (Series quote)

Miss Garvey's parents may stay at our place as long as they like. Provided they each arrive in an urn.
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 2 (Series quote)

Quinn: 'I have to pay $2,000 every time I gain a pound?'
Barney: 'Not every time. Just if it shows up at the weekly weigh-in.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Seven years ago when Marshall and Lily got engaged Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said 'oh yeah you just know she likes it dirty', but Ted really liked her, so we played 'Have You met Ted?' They went to dinner, he walked her home, should have kissed her, didn't - lame.
So he stole the Smurf penis, went back to her place, should have kissed her, didn't - lame.
He threw three parties, they kissed on the roof but decided to be friends - lame.
Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding, she couldn't go, he went alone and met Victoria. Didn't kiss her either - lame.
Not a great closer Ted. Then he finally kissed her, they started dating, she went to Germany. Ted kissed Robin, lost Victoria, Ted did a rain dance, got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up, Robin moved to Brazil came back with a Latin stud.
Ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp, not really relevant to the story I just like mentioning it as much as possible. I hooked up with Robin, Ted and I stopped being friends, Ted got hit by a bus, we made up... Robin and I started dating and I got fat, her hair fell out, we broke up. Robin dated Don, I dated Nora. I cheated on her with Robin, I dumped Nora. Robin dated Kevin but not for long and then I met you and you took my Grandpa's watch, but I fell in love with you anyway and you let me fart in front of you and I asked you to marry me and you said 'yes', so we came over here to meet little Marvin and that's everything. Also I went on the Price Is Right and I won a dune buggy.
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 24 (Series quote)

Airport Security: 'How did you get that through the X-Ray machine?'
Barney: 'No questions from the audience, please!'
3

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 23 (Series quote)

This guy he's done everything right. He's been loving and devoted since he was 18 years old. There are only a few truly great people on this planet and he is one of them.
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 23 (Series quote)

We're going to Buffalo... and I've seen women from there; the city's aptly named.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 23 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Let me choose your child's middle name! Because I have thought up the most awesome name of all time.'
Marshall: 'What's the middle name?'
Barney: 'Wait for it.'
Marshall: 'I'm waiting.'
Barney: 'Wait for it.'
Marshall: 'I said I'm waiting.'
Barney: 'Wait for it.'
Marshall: 'What's the middle name?'
Barney: 'No, the middle name is 'Wait For It'. Let's say his first name is, oh, I don't know, 'Barney'. He'd be Barney 'Wait For It' Eriksen. How awesome is that?'
3

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Oh, come on. If you don't laugh, it just seems mean.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Barney: 'How's the single life?'
Ted: 'I wouldn't know. After this whole Robin thing, I'm laying low.'
Barney: 'Laying low as in sleeping with a really short chick? You guys doing thirty-nine?'
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 22 (Series quote)

You give me one hour of phone-free bro time, during which we, and by we I mean you, get magnificently, mythologically drunk. I'm talking needing-subtitles-when-you-speak drunk.
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Quinn: 'What is an executive strategy coordinator?'
Barney: 'It's three corporate-sounding words which, when added together, equal a fake job for which you get a real paycheck.'
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 21 (Series quote)

From here on in, every single night of our lives will be a night, we'll never forget. Starting tonight!
- The night we started a Mariachi Band!
- The night we ate everything on the menu!
- The night we brought a horse into the bar!
- The night we bungee-jumped off the Statue of Liberty!
- The night we stole a mummy from the Natural History Museum!
- The night we partied with the mole people
- The night we tracked down Phil Collins, became best friends with him, and talked him into reuniting with Peter Gabriel, and then we got to sing back-up on the new Genesis album and it was awesome!
- The night we stole a camel!
- The night you got locked out in your pajamas and Robin landed a freakin' helicopter and there's still time to reunite Genesis!
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 21 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'Lily dream-banged someone we know.'
Barney: 'Okay, you caught me vermilion-handed. The truth is, I've spent the last five years trying to inception your wife.'
Marshall: 'That movie only came out two years ago.'
Barney: 'What movie?'
2

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother (Series quote)

If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would've been a feature about it in Details magazine.
2
Quotes 41-60 of 196
1|2| 3 |4|5|6| .. | 10

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