Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 11)
Quotes 201-220 of 444
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Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)



How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 13 (Series quote)

Ted: 'I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse.'
Robin: 'Oh, God. Tell me those aren't the names of your fists.'
Ted: 'They're my feet. I'm actually more of a kicker.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 13 (Series quote)

Lily: 'How did you do it?'
Barney: 'Oh God, you found one of the cameras. I swear that's the only one! Wait, which one did you find?'

Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 9 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Robin, this show is so dirty, I don't know whether to hug you, or run a shower for you, so you can sit there alone, crying and clenching your knees.'
Robin: 'It's just bad camera work, okay? Wayne, our camera guy - he wasn't that great.'
Marshall: 'I don't know. I think he did a pretty good job, considering he was probably only using one hand.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 10 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Barney, I don't know if the oven is deep enough. Plus, it's a display made of cardboard.'
Barney: 'Huh. I should probably disconnect the gas.'
2

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 8 (Series quote)

I didn't realize you were small potatoes. And to be clear, I am referring to your testicles.

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 7 (Series quote)

Lily: 'Just give me his name!'
Robin: 'Fine. It's Bill Pepper.'
Lily: 'Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?'
3

Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 7 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Looks like that bee got busy.'
Ted: 'Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed.'
Marshall: 'Oh, looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Ted: 'You name a chubby white kid LeBron and he's the one getting stuffed in the basketball hoop.'
Marshall: 'Then I'm also crossing off Shaquille, Hakeem and Dikembe.'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 6 (Series quote)

Hey, want to come to my house and play telephone? I got the string, you got the cans.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 4 (Series quote)

Barney: 'I cannot stop staring at that girl's face.'
Ted: 'Face, huh? That's your weirdest nickname for boobs yet.'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 4 (Series quote)

That girl was just crying. She's so sad and defenseless... anyone have a condom?
1

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 3 (Series quote)

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 3 (Series quote)

Dinner's a very intimate activity. It requires a level of connection and eye contact, that sex just doesn't. Call me old-fashioned, but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times before I'll even consider having dinner with her.
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 2 (Series quote)

There's something that I need to ask you and I want you to be honest with me. Why do white people like Carrot Top?
2

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 2 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Whoa, Ted, that thing you're packing is way too big to fit in that box.'
Ted: 'Yeah, that's what your mom said.'
Barney: 'How dare you?'
Ted: 'No, she actually said that.'

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1 (Series quote)

14 seconds! And already some dingdong is stepping up, thinking he can get some of this broke off.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. Each one has a hotness expiration date and you've hit yours. I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge, pick you up, give a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway, but it's all downhill from here.
2

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Marshall: 'During that time, I have been, how do I put this delicately, saving all my love for you.'
Lily: 'I have read eleven books on conception, I have cut out alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I take my temperature every hour. But good for you for not playing with yourself!'
2

Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Lily: 'A big package just arrived.'
Marshall: 'Yeah, it did.'
Lily: 'No, no. It's a real package from your dad.'
Marshall: 'Well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is.'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1 (Series quote)

What you're doing right now. I'm getting a de-rection!
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