Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 18)
Quotes 341-360 of 444
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Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)



How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Oh hey, where are you guys?'
Barney: 'We're in a fundraiser, helping young women raise money for community college.'
Ted: 'Stripclub... nice!'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1 (Series quote)

Any time, a girl wants to get back at her ex-bodyfriends, we'll be there.
Any time, a girl wants to solve her father-issues through promiscuity and binge drinking we will be there.
Any time a bachelorette party drives through the city in a limo, sticking their heads out the sunroof, shouting 'what's up New York?', we will be what is 'up' New York!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 10 (Series quote)

Know what time it is? It's do-o-clock, lets ride!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 13 (Series quote)

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story!

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 8 (Series quote)

Lily: 'A swordfight? On Monday I'm gonna have to tell my kindergarten class, who I teach not to run with scissors, that my fiancé ran me through with a freakin' broadsword.'
Marshall: 'Well... just to be fair, it didn't go all the way through.'
Lily: 'I'm sorry, is this a discussion of the degree to which you stabbed me?'
2

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 8 (Series quote)

I never wanted any of it to change, but that's not how life works.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 22 (Series quote)

When I rode home the next morning, the city looked the same. The people looked the same. It all looked the same. But it wasn't. In just one night, everything had changed.

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 22 (Series quote)

'Crutch down and bend over a little bit.'
Barney: 'Wow, It took five shots of tequila to have you in that position.'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 22 (Series quote)

Ted: 'What do you say?'
Robin: 'Yes! No! I don't know...'
Ted: 'Those are the three options.'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 21 (Series quote)

Lily: 'Swear on the lifes of your unborn boy and girl!'
Ted: 'I swear on Luke and Leia!'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season Season 2 Episode 11 (Series quote)

Ted: 'Do you have a cold?'
Barney: 'I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out.'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 14 (Series quote)

Talking to a woman that you have already had sex with, is like changing the oil on a rental car!

Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Lily: 'It's nine weeks 'til the wedding, at this point, I'd say yes to just about anything.'
Barney: 'Well...'
Lily: 'No, Barney.'
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Lily: 'Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.'
Barney: 'Yeah. Lily, you know I can't promise that'
1

Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 20 (Series quote)

Lily: 'I can't believe I unloaded like that on a high-school senior.'
Robin: 'I can't believe a high-scool senior unloaded like that on me.'
1

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Barney: 'This is one of those things you have to do before you turn 30.'
Ted: 'Sleep with a prostitute?!'
Barney: 'No, lose your virginity!... What up?'

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Think about it, this is perfect.
a) It'll make Robin insanly jealous
b) You get to have sex with her
c) Maybe by getting to know Mary, you'll come to see that cortisens are people too
and d) B! All night long!

Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 19 (Series quote)

Barney: 'Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better. Triple-threat: hotter and bigger boobs.'
Ted: 'That's only two?'
Barney: 'Count again!'

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 14 (Series quote)

The beauty of a moment, is that it's fleeting.

Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 14 (Series quote)

I don't feel so good. It's like my testicals mixed poprocks and soda.
Quotes 341-360 of 444
1| .. | 16|17| 18 |19|20| .. | 23

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